India-bashing in Ozland

In the wake of the recent attack on the Singh family at the snooker club in the Melbourne suburb of Epping, I thought to check how the issue of racism is being seen in the Australian media and in the 'most popular' articles. Here are screenshots of all the major newspapers. The curious thing is that the bashing and the race-relations between Oz and India are nowhere in sight. The google news search shows that there are articles, but they seem to be tucked in the inside links somewhere.

Clearly, this is not something that the Australian media thinks is important. Maybe this has been drummed up enormously by the Indian media and the touchy, prickly, uber-sensitive student-diaspora in Australia. Farokh Dhondy's call to arms has made some news.

On the other hand, when I caught this headline in The Australian and this in SMH, I began to wonder if there is some meat to the vague suspicion I have that Australia is slowly disintegrating back into a racist society. Something that comes to it naturally, for Australia has been a deeply racist country till the 1970s. Notice how the word racist comes in inverted commas.

It is difficult to say for certain, but one thing that I have personally experienced in my 2 years at Brisbane, is that by and large Australians do not allow race-ridden thoughts to come to the surface of their interactions. Of course, there is a set of people who are openly racist (But then all societies have extreme fringes). However the point is, most people whom I met and became friends with, continued to be hesitant and strangely clumsy about making that unconditional connect that you make with a friend. Perhaps Australians are so used to the idea of White Australia, it is finally dawning upon most that it has changed and will continue to change rapidly, and that there is nothing that they can do about it. Maybe this is the last revolt against the inexorable march. Indians make an easy target; they are not as ghettoised as the Chinese or the Vietnamese, they are generally slighter in build unlike the Pacific islanders and Fijian-Indians (who, by the way, are far more aggressive and violent than Indians). Indonesians, Singaporeans and Malaysians simply stay out of the way and melt homewards at the slightest sign of trouble. But Indians are easier meat.

I'm afraid that the relationship between white Australians and Indians has soured beyond repair and it will take a generation to redeem it. The Symonds affair showed an ugly side of both our countries, the student bashings and robbings have got bad press, the worm of doubt has crept into the minds of fair-minded Australians and emotional Indians. This will get showcased in the cricket rivalry in all the series' to come.

It is only going to get worse.

Case of Pot Calling the Cattle Black

The cattle controversy with Shashi Tharoor is another example that shows what big hypocrites we really are. To me the bigger tragedy was that it also showed how absolutely devoid of humour we are as a nation. Especially, the kind of witty, self-deprecating style that we see in the Brits and Aussies. They don't mind taking a piss at their beloved icons - be it the Queen, or the Prince of Wales, or Beckham or anybody at all! As Bill Bryson writes in his book, 'Notes From a Small Island', this humour comes from the affection that they have for the people that they choose.

The trouble with us Indians is that we love to laugh at people. Never with them. In the 70s and 80s, while growing up, the jokes were on Madrasis slurping sambhar, Bengalis eating rotten fish and Marathis licking kadi from the elbows upwards. Not exactly scintillating, as you might observe. Sardarji jokes continue unabated. Though, to be fair, in the interim we Indians have 'grown up' and hence these jokes on regional stereotypes have undergone a change - some of it is brilliant - case in point, Lola Kutty and her on-the-fly wit.

The laughter channel on TV still has most fare directed at someone and at someone's expense. Whereas, with a little bit of improvisation the whole thing can be presented such that we laugh with the people and not at the people.

In the meantime, will Rahul baba tell his amma to tell Jayanthi amma to just pipe down on the 'insensitive' use of language when talking of the 'common people' who travel in the said cattle class? This shrill hypocrisy that is on show for the last two weeks about solidarity to the poor is making me want to puke.

Bangladesh: a new beginning. Or is it?

Relations generally improve when the Awamis are in power in Dhaka. So it was not a surprise to see Shiekh Hasina being welcomed by Delhi with much warmth. There have been equally warm and friendly overtures from Dhaka. The recent visit by Dipu Moni has trotted impressive columns in B'desh. Many commentators are positive about the goings on.


Shiekh Hasina's government has been more rigorous in rooting out insurgents from the hill tracts and have made the right kind of noises. No pronouncements have been made by anyone in the Hasina government which can be seen as 'belligerent' by Delhi. Likewise, SM Krishna has agreed to all the 'demands' made by Dr. Moni. So it seems all is hunky-dory.


The populace is much more cautious though! in fact, it is remarkable that today in Bangladesh, there is more support for Pakistan than for India. The dam on Tipaimukh has touched a sensitive spot in the collective psyche of our eastern neighbours. To be fair their experience of Farakka has been not too good - in fact it has been a disaster on most counts.

India has the chance to behave like a future regional power here. It can show some wisdom and be generous even. If it steamrolls Tipaimukh and causes another desertification in the lower riparian area then B'desh will be lost forever from our circle of influence. I hope we have the sense to be as sensitive to Bangladesh as we expect China to be for the dam that is proposed on Brahmaputra. We have been raising a hue and cry against the dam for pretty much the same reasons as Bangladesh's.

If we are seen as a reasonable and a caring big-brother then we will also be able to veer B'desh away from the Deobandi disease. This looking to the west, and to Arabia for its cultural roots is not more than 7 years old. Its still not widespread. One would like to think that the Bangladeshis will again remember that they are Bengalis first and shun this movement towards Deobandi islamization. What we in the subcontinent need is to rediscover our own links to Sufi and gangetic-islamism. For Bangladeshis it would mean rediscovering Baul and Lalon Fokir. We are after all, the product of what Saeed Naqvi calls, our ganga-jamni tehzeeb. And there are sane voices, as this article shows. But the problem is that not just the government and the bureaucracy, even us, the citizens of this country think of our neighbours with hostility, with derision and with contempt.

So let us make a start.

We in India need to start behaving like a great nation, and stop just expecting others to perceive us as one. We need to have a hard and critical look at ourselves first.

We need to start believing in our multi-culturalism, and not just tolerate it; we need to open our eyes to the parts of our country that we are unfamiliar with. Start there. And then look towards our neighbours with those opened eyes. Can those of us who are in the plains and in the stretch from Punjab to Kerala, for instance, put our hands on our hearts and say that we think - even remotely, briefly - just think of our fellow-citizens in the North-east? Do we think of 'them' as part of 'our' nation? Do we have the broadness and generosity to acknowledge that a person from Mizoram needs to be given the same treatment as a Tamilian, or a Maharashtrian gets?

For us to be a great nation and a responsible neighbour, we first need to set our house in order.

Hoysala

The most satisfying dinner that I have had in the US so far was in Hoysala, this quaintly (but aptly) named Kannadiga restaurant in Somerset. It was a buffet dinner, where they serve you one portion of dosa and uttappam and the unlimited portions of the stuff on the sideboards.

The thing about this place - it was totally authentic and pandered to no firang tastes. Little wonder then that the clientele was 100% desi.

The food was very good. The dosai, for instance, were perfect! Crisp yet thick, sour and adequately grainy on the tongue.

Here's the entire fare ...


















A small incident about Hoysala. We had to make three visits before we got anything to eat. The first time, it was 9:30 PM and the usher said that many of the items were not, 'in enough quantity' and the potato sabji is, 'over'. So we left fuming and hungry - only to get into a frightfully revolting place called Pooja. The next day we were again there, only to see the dark doors staring back at us. It said, 'Monday Closed'. By this time, we ought to have given up. But somehow the place kept calling us, and we went next week.

It was worth the trouble.

Holy Cow! They are proselytising!

While waiting for the train home at the Penn Station, I saw many red fliers being trampled underfoot and tucked at the back of the seats. I picked one up and saw that it was a message from a group called Jews For Jesus. I thought that the message was attractive, contemporary and brought a chuckle or two even from a confirmed agnostic like me. While I detest proselytising of any sort, I could only nod my head and grin at the cheekiness.

The larger question remains. Why do I react negatively to propaganda by religions? I'm not angry when bombarded with a zillion adverts on TV, merely irritated (Well, I do get angry when they cut away just before the last delivery in the over and start an advert in a cricket match).
So what is the difference? I think that religion works at the belief level, and as everything else that works at that level (like for instance honesty, patriotism and love), they are deeply, totally personal. A belief demands that the individual grapple and seek. And if in that seeking; she reaches out to a guru, or a church, or a book, or a sect, or a philosophy; it is all right. However, what is not on is to thrust ones religion on to individuals, to peddle belief. That, to me is disgusting and beggars belief (sorry, couldn't resist that pun!). Let the seeker approach; let the one who needs to believe ask for help. Don't dishonour anyone by assuming that she needs to to believe, that she better believe!

I have heard the argument, 'But, what if they don't know that they need help? What if they are simple and innocent?' Well, all the more reason to leave them alone. If they have not yet found a reason to believe, then they don't need it in their lives. When they need it, the heart will seek.

McDonalds loses to McCurry

Malaysian courts have decided that Big Mac does not have monopoly over the usage of Mc. After 8 years of drama, we now finally have a situation where any eatery can use Mc. as long as its menu is sufficiently different from McDonald's.

This throws an interesting twist: consider India. Seeing this judgement, if Indian restaurants start doing the same then we may have hundreds of McShetty, McMoti Mahal and the likes, which given the jurisdiction, should be all right. But what about a McVadaPav? Is that sufficiently different from a burger? Which came first? Ah! It becomes all so interesting. Hey! 5 Star Vada Pav guys, are you listening?

'World Class Indian Cricketer'

Saw something hilarious today. Being a holiday, I'd gone to Nirmal Lifestyles, a mall in Mulund to pick a few bargains for the home. On my way out, my attention was drawn to this ugly stump-of-a-commemorative pillar with the following legend...

Good that we have been told about this Rahul Dravid. The one that I knew is really a banker who sells Amway on weekends. lolz

Stuffed Green Tomatoes

Made on a whim. There were green tomatoes and they were priced decently (didn't need a mortgage like it does to buy some of the other veggies nowadays) and Robin had remarked in an offhand way that it was his favourite, absolutely the bestest and favouritest dish. So obviously I forgot all about such trifles. Till that day when I saw them nested next to lemons and I thought that I have never seen lemons of that particular greenness. Lemons, BTW, are in the Cadillac range just now - Rs 4 per. Ridiculous! To cut a short story, shorter, I bought 7 medium, tight and hard green tomatoes and made this dish...

Ingredients

1. Green tomatoes, small to medium, firm and round. Three per person is a reasonable portion.
2. Freshly roasted and ground coriander powder, 2 tsp per tomato
3. Red chili powder, 1/2 tsp per tomato
4. Freshly roasted and ground jeera powder, 1 pinch per tomato
5. Mango powder, amchur, 1/2 tsp per tomato
6. Salt, 1/2 tsp per tomato
7. Refined veg oil, 1/2 tsp per tomato

In case you want a gravy, here's what you could use:

1. Onions, 2 medium, for every 6 tomatoes
2. Fresh green coriander leaves and stems, 1/2 cupful for every 6 tomatoes
3. Tomato puree, 1 tblsp for every 6 tomatoes
4. Fresh ginger, 1/2 inch for every 6 tomatoes
5. Salt, to taste
6. Refined veg oil, 1 1/2 tblsp

Get going

1. Wash and dry the tomatoes, green coriander and ginger
2. Remove the brown tops and cut a thin slice from the bottom of each tomato so that it may stand straight without lolling around in the pan.
3. Make a cross cut over each tomato so that you have the quarters that can be forced apart but are not deep enough to cut the tomato into quarters. In case you are wondering why such intricacy, well, between the spaces of the quadrants you will stuff the masala. Duh!
4. Set the tomatoes aside and mix the coriander powder, the chili powder, the mango powder, the jeera powder and the salt together in a bowl. Mix well.
5. Force each tomato open along one and force a teaspoon of the mixture down to the centre. Do the same for the other cut. So you are stuffing in 2 teaspoons of masala in each tomato.
6. Once done, set the tomatoes aside for 30 minutes.
7. After 30 mins, once the tomato juices have absorbed much of the masala, stuff in the remaining masala equally on all the tomatoes. Use your fingers this time.
8. You are now ready. The cooking will require 30 minutes on medium-to-low flame. Give yourself 15 minutes for the gravy. You can also do the gravy while the tomatoes are simmering.
9. To cook the tomatoes, heat a flat bottomed large pan, add all the oil. Let it heat on medium flame for a minute.
10. Slide in the tomatoes one-by-one on the pan. Huddle them around in the centre for best results.
11. Cook them for 3-4 minutes. Then turn each of them gently in its sides and keep turning each tomato 90 degrees every few minutes to ensure it is uniformly cooked.
12. Once all the tomatoes are done this way, cover the pan and let is simmer on low for 10 minutes.
13. In the meantime heat up a kadhai, add the 1 1/2 tbslp oil and let it heat up for a minute.
14. Add the onions and stir gently at medium heat. Add the salt. Once translucent, add the coriander stems and the ginger. Stir gently for a few more minutes.
15. Dilute the puree and add it to the kadhai. Simmer for 5 minutes. Add the remaining coriander, stir and turn-off heat.
16. Place the gravy on a flat dish with raised sides.
17. Place the tomatoes around. Sprinkle with coconut and coriander

Goes well with Fulka and daal. The tomatoes should be cooked but just a touch crunchy. By some good luck, hopefully they will not be too tart. In case they are, you might want to let go of the mango powder. This means you'll need to taste the tomatoes when raw. I don't mind them when tart. I just add a dollop of unhealthy salt!

Monsoon marches

It is September. And monsoon is still around. Can't remember the last time it rained this late. Maybe the cycle is shifting? Or maybe it is going to last longer this year. I hope it does - we need the rains. The lakes are half-full. We have water scarcity at my flat anyway; with empty lakes it will be unthinkable in the summer.

It would be to the advantage of us Mumbaikars to learn about urban rainwater harvesting. I'm sure there must be some simple things that one can do. A quick google revealed that there IS a special department of theMumbai Municipality that helps home-owners to harvest rainwater. Its called Division for Education for Water. IN case you want to start off right away and don't have a clue where to begin, start by looking at this youtube video from Bangalore. Its fab!

It's time we heeded.

US and them

I returned from the US on 8th August. The assignment is now complete and the report has been tabled. All is well. So now I have the time to reflect on my 5 weeks.

On our way from Somerset, NJ to Moosic, PA, we saw 5 roadkills, all deer, large ones; ungainly in death, some bloated, others just plain pathetic. B said that deer are a menace - eat the best summer blooms and mess up the lawn. And when they crash against cars on the freeways people are not just injured (some are known to die, but that happens more with Moose than the smaller deer) but are left guilty and generally wretched having blown the car, killed a harmless but stupid animal and having to pay for the repair. Roadkill meat is not eaten. Just buried or incinerated.

But there are culling expeditions as well in many states, mostly for deer. And these are then given to the local butchers who sell the venison to the local populace.

Where we lived in Somerset, just beyond the lawns in the woods that line the property were numerous families of deer. I've seen them during breakfast - a family of three, one yearling, frisky and slim; the other two, more staid and perpetually hungry. Another family of three in the adjoining property - all large and energetic. They are completely unafraid of humans. I've also spotted rabbits and a stoat-like animal, something narrow, low and dark. It was well past 9 PM when I saw it, hence it was not too clear. Could have been a weasel. Had it been India, I would have said mongoose.

There is hunting season in all but three states in the US (Kentucky, Hawaii and Rhode Island). How different is the situation vis-a-vis India!! Hunting and gathering is allowed only for the tribes and villages inside the protected forestry zones in India. That too, of a few species.

What I find incredible is that much of the wilderness that we see in the US is really very recent: less than a 100 years old. Most of the arable land available used to be farmland - HUGE tracts of it, especially in the southern states. Cotton and tobacco. All that is gone, the farms abandoned. The forest has reclaimed all of the land. Apart from this, there are large areas in North America, especially in Canada, where the government has planted pine forests.

All this is possible because North America is still mostly wilderness. Human density is ridiculously low if you compare it to any other industrialised area. Europe is as dense as it gets, Japan too, and the densest amongst them all - UK. What NA needs are hordes of immigrants; twice as much, thrice....only then can we have a semblance of balance on the planet. It will also make Americans and Canadians more responsible environmentalists and less profligate. Well, Canadians are really quite OK. It's the American consumption that tips the scale.

Speaking of which, it was impossible sometimes to just watch at the breakfast table, the colossal wastage of food, even now, when the going is tough. It would take all of my good breeding (?) to not get up and slap the fat lady silly - one particularly noxious woman - who would pile her plate with two Waffles, then cut them quarter-wise, pour four 'cups' of syrup, and then leave three quarters on the plate and go for crisp bacon strips and cheese omelettes. Then she would grab a 'healthy' yogurt cup, some bagels and coffee leaving an untidy mess of omelettes behind. Last, a banana and more coffee. Jeezuz!!!! Not only gluttonous, but wasteful. Except for the coffee, nothing was really 'finished'.

But why just the noxious lady - almost all the folks up there seem to leave quite a bit on the plate. Call me old-fashioned, but it would set my teeth on the edge to see all of this around me. I've not even started yet on the amount of garbage that this eating frenzy would generate. The mousy little Mexican guy would come in twice in the time I breakfasted to clear the bins.

On the other hand, there are not many people who are as generous in spirit as the Americans. Even in these blighted times, the portions in restaurants is gargantuan, there still is free coffee and cookies, the peg measure while pouring out drinks is almost always ignored.

A word on the weather. Lovely!