28th Nov

The US offices are closed for Thanksgiving, hence not many mails. The presentation can wait. There is some attendance at work - maybe 30%? The canteen is on and I have already got my morning cuppa and idli. I was bewildered yesterday, and when I left work, a little sad. Today I am writhing in anger. And I want to spew venom here on this blog. Its an impotent attempt at doing something. The news coverage is annoying the hell out of me - everybody seems to be speaking loudly and with no coherence. I don't feel comforted. The PM said something in a weak, whiny voice that set my blood boiling. So I won't get into that.

I got an auto to come here and there are buses plying as well. When I entered, there were armed policemen in the van in front of the SEEPZ gate today. They looked just as lazy and unkempt as always. Who would trust them to save their lives? I won't. I would run; or maybe in a mad, blind run, choose to attack those who wish to harm me. I would be dead in the most likely scenario.

Back to the screen - there is smoke billowing out of the front of Taj now - must be some botched attempt at rescue, or maybe the chaps inside are lighting all the furnishings? I remember going up to the top-floor suite once to visit a rich American cousin. The room was tiny, the roof was low, the bed was huge, the doors were narrow, the bathroom was shiny but without any character. I remember the curtains were thick and ugly and had three layers. The upholstery everywhere was soft. So it must be an arsonist's delight, this Taj.

The three police honchos who died yesterday - I can see repeat pictures of them and can't help wondering - why the heck did three top guys need to go in the same jeep? I'm familiar with Karkare's name, and the little bit of the Malegaon thing; he seemed to be a smart guy, with his wits about him. I bet his last thoughts must have been, 'fuck, what a chutiya I am to die like this!' And did you look at his helmet? And his tiny, frayed flak-jacket? In fact, even as I write I can see more policemen in front of the Taj barricades; none are in flak-jackets, and two are bare-headed. Why do we have jokers to protect us? We in India are not that poor, surely?

More news pouring in - all are condemning the attack, rah rah, and we have a grim faced Pranab saying something that seems to be in English. But then I am illiterate in that version of the lingo. I am not interested in his bakwas. I'm curious at this stage to know what happened to the hundreds who were caught at CST. No update yet on that. Perhaps the crowd that was caught in the crossfire was not as glamorous as this crowd. Or maybe the killing ended too soon and there is nothing else to report from the 'scene'.

Its lunch. I'm hungry.